The guilty parent!

The school summer holidays roll on & tumbleweed blows around my blog. I've been doing that 'being busy but seemingly achieving nothing' thang that parents know oh so well.

Ellie has begun to ask me for memories of the Brood as babies & toddlers, but I haven't yet dared to confess that so much time passed in a blur of nappies, feeds, washing machine loads, post-natal depression and then full blown bipolar, that my recollections are faulty & a little blurred around the edges. This feels me with guilt - it's as though the absence of memory represents a form of neglect! After all, wasn't it my intention to be a fabulous parent and to bring something fresh & vibrant to this child-rearing lark? I was going to do things differently - why I even had delusions of perfection! Well ha ha, the joke's on me - the grind got to me and I am instead a faulty, guilt-ridden parent. But they're loved, adored & cherished and I feel ever so certain that they know this even in their bones.

Of course the idea of being a perfect parent is a mirage - the only thing you can realistically hope for is to be, what John Cleese & Robin Skynner described in their excellent book, 'Families and How to Survive Them' 'a good enough parent'. So as this imperfect parent didn't manage to keep her baby books & photo albums in pristine, lucid order, the wannabe good-enough parent is going to trawl through her diaries, journals and notebooks in order to find the notes & scribbles she dashed off about her Brood.


A six month old Tom in diapers & dungarees - scribbles dashed off in between his cries and mine!

I thank Lord Dodo of Dodo Towers for his gift to the busy family of the splendid five column Dodo diary - without the help he's given us during these past years I wouldn't be able to rummage through old diaries and find the landmark dates that Ellie wants me to remember. Ah yes, Ellie's first steps. Wow, I actually remember that day!

New pen!

I'm not seeing eye to eye with photography at the moment so alas, I cannot bring you a picture of the iolite & amber necklace I've made which features a pendant by Kristie Roeder of Artisan Clay and a beautiful focal bead by Sarah Hornik. In the days of yore, I used to take photos in a tent-like set-up in which I could manipulate daylight with the magic of mirrors, but this voluminous rigging takes up a lot of room and there are currently too many demands on my workspaces for me to contemplate erecting a campsite on one of them!

I'm not as organised as I once was because I've filled life up with other things during my spell adrift from the world. There's my mark-making for one thing. I prefer not to call the mess I make 'drawing'. I LOVE to make marks, but as I don't want to make myself bitter & resentful for not turning in the perfect, presentable work I think of as drawing, I stick with mark making & my search for that one perfect, zen-like line that we can all achieve every now and then. It happens. And when it happens, it feels remarkable - all puns intended!! It's why I enjoy blind-contour drawing - the pressure is off and that line you've been longing for, seems to offer itself up much more readily when your eye's on the subject and your hand is freed from the judgement of your ocular article.

This week I've been making marks with my new Pentel Pocket Brush Pen which is used to extraordinary effect by such wonderful artists as Roz Stendahl. I've used brush pens before ( hello Sakura), but this is a real wayward beauty which offers a different experience to the others I've tried. I love it for it's a real Zen pen but it's going to take some time to get used to it.

Here's me struggling with my new pen, trying to get to grips with Gussie, our border terrier puppy.


What's with the neck?

Going loco - I backed myself into a corner & ran out of paper!

Forgive me for slipping in a ghastly old photo of a pastel of mine from days gone by, but for the sake of family record, I can't have Gussie in this post without also including the best friend a lass could ever have had. A beautiful girl - no longer by my side, but forever in my heart!

Gorgeous George

The Art Journal & Creativity Bookshelf: The Long List!

Our house groans with books. Literally. Walls have been scaled by carpenters & cabinet makers ( being married to someone in the antiques trade has its perks - Bushwood Antiques, I thank you) and shelves have been adhered to any wall not suitable for paintings. I love peering into books & sniffing out their treasures. And my books are more informatively interactive than Kindle. All book lovers should look away right now because I hereby confess to the sin of writing in the margins of my paperbacks. Indeed I have paperback copies of some of my hardbacks purely so that I can carry on a written conversation with the author. Remember the quote from my last blog entry,

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one."

Well this is just one of the reasons why I write in my books; the magic spell of recognition.

My little addenda add an extra dimension to re-reading old favourites. 'Did I really think that? Oh shallow youth!' ( I rather enjoy feeling pompous about my younger self; it shows I may have actually learnt something as I've travelled through life and that all is not necessarily lost!) In fact my long standing loves which I refer to again & again, such as Virginia Woolf's diaries or Carrington's 'Letters & Extracts from Her Diaries', have special journals devoted to them which stand by their sides on the bookshelves. Carrington's paintings have always beguiled me, but when I read her enthralling letters & saw the illustrations which she added to them, I fell under her thrall & have remained her slave ever since.

Indeed, many, many years ago, it was Virginia & Carrington who first inspired me to keep a journal of my own. At first it was just a diary, but this one volume has blossomed into many. I now keep a diary, a reading record ( for thoughts I dare not expose in the books themselves!), an art journal, as well as a multiplicity of sketchbooks ( which, to my mind, are another form of journal). The latest addition is a more formal illustrated journal whose shape still hasn't comfortably settled in my mind.

But I digress. The reason for this post is that I've been 'editing' my art journal resource shelves. Not because I'm divesting myself of any of the books which have helped me along the journalling path, but because some seem more pertinent to the shelves in the Shack where I paint & make a mess whilst others seem more suited to the calmer climate of my study.

Now that I've finally finished dusting off & restating the bookshelves, I thought I'd list a selection of favourites books which I've referred to as I've mined my way through my own particular seam of journalling life. They are of particular help in the bad times, but also nourish me in the good. In other words, they are Battle Books!

Here goes...

Firstly the greats. You can treat yourself to books by any of the following authors and each & all will hold your hand and delight, inspire & inform you. Make space for:

Lynne Perella, Gwen Diehn, Danny Gregory, Maggie Grey, L.K.Ludwig, Ricë Freeman Zachary & her wonderful interviewees, Sark, Alan Fletcher, Dan Price & any of the volumes of 'Illustration Now'.

And now, in no particular order, here comes a lengthy selection of my favourites. I've added links to Amazon, not because I'm on commission ( because I'm not) but purely so that you can read a little more about each particular book.

'Kaleidoscope' by Suzanne Simanaitis
'Exhibition 36' & 'Digital Expressions' by Susan Tuttle
'Celebrate Your Creative Self' & 'The Creative Edge' by Mary Todd Beam
'Art Escapes' by Dory Kanter
'Collage Sourcebook' by Holly Harrison, Jennifer Atkinson & Paula Grasdal
'Mixed Media Collage' by Holly Harrison
'Journal Spilling' by Diana Trout
'Life is a Verb' by Patti Digh
'1000 Art Journal Pages' edited by Dawn DeVries Sokol
'1000 Journals Project'
'Complete Guide to Altered Imagery' by Karen Michel
'Exploring Colour' by the late Julie Caprara
'Handmade Prints' by Anne Desmet & Jim Anderson
'Drawing & Painting People: A Fresh Approach' by Emily Ball
'Painted Paper' by Alisa Golden
'The Artist's Sketchbook' by Lucy Watson
'Sketchbooks: The Hidden Art Of Designers, Illustrators & Creatives' by Richard Brereton
'Mixed Media Self Portraits' by Cate Coulacos Prato
'The Nature Diary of an Artist' by Jennie Hale
'Art Stamping Workshop' by Gloria Page
'Printmaking + Mixed Media' by Dorit Elisha
'Drawing From Life:The Journal as Art' by Jennifer New
'Journal Bliss' by Violette
'Drawing, Seeing & Observation' by Ian Simpson
'Sometimes I Think, Sometimes I Am' by Sara Fanelli
'Experimental Drawing' by Robert Kaupelis
'Creating Sketchbooks for Embroiderers & Textile Artists' by Kay Greenlees
'Making Journals by Hand' by Jason Thompson
'Artist Trading Card Workshop' by Bernie Berlin
'Mixed Emulsions' by Angela Cartwright
'Practical Printmaking' by Colin Gale
'Creative Awakenings: Envisioning The Life of Your Dreams Through Art' by Sheri Gaynor
'Taking Flight' by Kelly Rae Roberts
'Collage Unleashed' by Traci Bautista
'The New Creative Artist' by Nita Leland
'Keys To Drawing With Imagination' by Bert Dodson
'Creative Paint Workshop' by Ann Baldwin
'Drawing Matters' by Jane Stobart
Jim Krause's Colour Index Volumes I and II
'Sources of Inspiration' and 'Pattern, Colour & Form' by Carolyn Genders
'Connecting Art to Stitch' by Sandra Meech
'Acrylic Revolution' by Nancy Reyner

There are more, but I fear I may have exhausted you and that, dear Reader, will never do.

PS, I'm avidly awaiting the arrival of 'The Journal Junkies Workshop' by Eric M.Scott & David R. Modler which is available in the States, but not here in the UK as of today. Help! I'm not known for my patience! I have discovered Eric's blog though for which I shout 'Hurrah!'

The things I sweep under my carpet!

Speck of Speck's Sketch Blog has reminded me of something else that didn't go to plan. I looked under the carpet under which I sweep these things and lo, I've found a few of the sketches which I drew for the Everyday Matters Challenge. I followed the Challenge from a distance as I don't possess the necessary talent to be a formal participant, but then my big, bad, bipolar blip got in the way & my plans went completely awry! However, I've still got the list so I can always start again.

Here are a couple more, 'What on earth was she thinking of' sketches, namely:

Number 1 - my espadrille



and Number 24 - an apple



Now, aren't you glad I shared these ;-) I do like to make a fool of myself of a weekend!!

I think the challenge has ended now, but to view the drawings submitted by the group, why don't you pay a visit to the Everyday Matters Group on Flickr. I promise you'll be enthralled!

Sketchbook scenes: some days just aren't meant to be...

Lost interest...

Eye went wrong...

So then I copied - after Van Gogh.




If days are going wrong, I know I can always turn to Vincent! The original is on page 30 of 'Van Gogh: The Master Draughtsman' by Sjraar van Heugten or can be viewed here.