I had to take the past few days out which makes me feel SO angry with myself; I loathe being at the mercy of emotions. And once again I'm fearful that my brain & body are beginning to over-ride me. Imagine having a dictatorial stranger in your house & that you are completely at their mercy. This is bipolar. I am not my bipolar, but my bipolar is me.
From Sunday morning to midnight yesterday, I managed a total of five hours sleep so I've been feeling very disorientated & restless during the past few days. Last night, my brain finally submitted and allowed me to sleep so I feel better today.
Now that a quieter place has opened up, I'm going to see if I can't paint it out. I think the trick is not to analyse it but to gently acknowlege it & see if it will work through. And I shall also count my blessings, for I am fortunate & have many.
Namaste!
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3 comments:
be gentle with yourself, Jen! Those sleepless times can be really difficult, I know - wishing you peace as you work through the quieter place.
Thanks Caitlin. I'm so comforted by your kindness.
Jennifer xox
The knowledge of the support that's out there uplifts me - from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for all of the kind messages I've received. The bonds that surround the fellowship of those of us who have depression & bipolar are so powerfully strong & deeply compassionate; it moves me intensely.
I will write to each of you, but until that moment,
'you are my blessing, you are a blessing and I thank you!
With much, much love,
Jennifer
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